An Old lady's wisdom

An Nepali-Uncle calling his Nepali aunt/mom? Either case it also takes a stab at the ongoing political crisis in Nepal.

Muwa: Hello?

JC: It's me.

Muwa: Janardhan?

JC: Yes.

Muwa: The line's very clear today. Where are you calling from?

JC: Where else? From home. What's going on there? You must be relieved
it's all over now.

Muwa: That's what everyone says. I don't get it. How is it over? It's
not like Gyanendra announced he found unlimited supply of water and
electricity. Personally I would choose water
over Girija any day.

JC: I mean the uncertainty is over… at least you can go outside now.

Muwa: Where can I go? I'm 61 years old. My husband spends his entire
time talking senseless politics with his hopeless friends. My only
daughter lives in Denver, my only son lives in Contikut. Go where? All
my grandchildren live in Denver or Contikut…

JC: It's Connecticut.

Muwa: Whatever ticket… it's not Putali Sadak.

JC: If you're that bored in Nepal, why don't you come over here? How
many invitations do you need?

Muwa: And do what there? Your son doesn't speak a word of Nepali. You
work 12 hours a day. Banita is too formal with me. What will I do in
Contikut? I can't even go out for a walk, it's cold even in Baisakh.
Move to Myemi next to Puskar uncle, I'll come.

JC: No city pays MBA like New York. That's why I'm here. I don't get
paid like this if I move to Miami.

Muwa: How's Banita
doing?

JC: She's right here laughing, listening to you. We're on the speaker phone.

Banita: Darshan Muwa.

Muwa: Darshan. How are you doing?

Banita: Not bad.

Muwa: Is he treating you right? I worry more about you than my
money-obsessed son.



Banita: He doesn't have time to treat me badly. How's buwa doing?

Muwa: Like any 'Kaangresi' here, he's ecstatic. It's easier to be
happy, I guess, when you have a very short memory. He really believes
it's a victory. I think his blood-pressure drug makes him hallucinate.

Banita: (laughs)… Nishant! Nishant! Come here, say darshan to hajurmuwa.

Nishant (in the background): I don't feel like talking to Dad's mom.

Muwa: What's he saying?

JC: He's in a bad mood.

Muwa: How come your son is always in a bad mood? If his father devoted
some time to him, perhaps, his mood will change. I've never heard of a
seven-year-old who's so
eternally in a bad mood. If you have no time
for him, why don't you take him to a child sikatryst and fix him?

JC: Banita will teach him a lesson, he listens to her…

Muwa: He needs both parents.

JC: Ok. We'll talk about him later. So how did you pass time during
the 'Aandolan'?

Muwa: I knitted a sweater for your father.

JC: Why would you knit a sweater in April?

Muwa: I had to do something… remind myself I was alive. Unlike your
father, I'm too old and too wise to be animated by watching people
protest.

JC: Buwa must be captivated by all this. He must spend all his time on
the phone.

Muwa: That he does. But there's no one on the other end listening.
Everyone's talking here. No one's listening.

JC: That's politics.

Muwa: That's lunacy. We listen to a parrot for god's sakes. Nobody
listens to nobody here. Everyone is running like a mad man with a flag
and an opinion. This is
mental.

JC: But things look different from here. For the better.

Muwa: I know your CNN is telling you it's a hope. Just remember my
words… in six months from today these selfish, greedy, shortsighted
leaders will be at each other's throat.

JC: You have to understand, whoever they are, leaders are important
for democracy.

Muwa: Exactly my point. But what we have here are not leaders. These
are protesters. Girija, Madhav, or Gagan, or who not, these are all
protesters. Nothing more. A leader should be a protester, a diplomat,
a philosopher, an intellect, an orator, and a listener. These so
called leaders here are limited to being protesters. These people
can't govern, they can only march. And if one party starts governing,
the other parties start marching. It's such a vicious cycle that
depresses the heaven out of me.



JC: Obviously I have not thought this through as much as you have. But
trust me
I have lived in a free country, in the end freedom works.
When people start focusing on their survival paycheck, the country
tames itself out. That's what Nepal needs.

Muwa: Work where? Who's providing the work? You think we have
infrastructure for anything? And don't give me that American democracy
lecture. I too have read American history. White people who owned
black slaves, revolting against another group of lazier white people,
is not a revolution. It's an irony. If British white people had
revolted to free black slaves from American white people, then that
could have qualified as a revolution. Your Wall's Tree white
executives have brainwashed you.

JC: For someone who knows so much, how come you can't pronounce a
single name correctly? It's not Wall's Tree. It's Wall Street. When
you visited Wall Street three years ago, did you see any tree growing
out of a wall?

Muwa: I wouldn't know. They didn't teach me
pronunciation in Kanya
Mandir. I didn't go to St. Xavier's. Anyways, I want to be remembered
for what I say, not how I say it. Accent is for people who have no
content.

JC: Well said. Sometimes I wish you were born in this country… It's
weird that you don't seem to be moved by all this that's taking place
in Nepal. What happened to my radical mother of Padma Kanya Campus
2022 Bikram Sambat?

Muwa: She grew up to understand that hope too has an expiration date

JC: I remember you were so excited in 1990.

Muwa: I was only 45. I was naïve.

JC: Would you rather the king have it all?

Muwa: I'd rather, your uncle, who marched for democracy everyday, not
kick his servant in the stomach for accidentally spilling his tea. I'd
rather people knew what democracy is about, before chanting and
marching for it.

JC: Baldev uncle is a lunatic.

Muwa: Not just your Baldev uncle, everyone here's a lunatic.
Nobody
gets it until they don't have it. When they have it, they don't know
what to do with it. So they abuse it. And they are back to not having
it… and they march and protest for not having it.

JC: You're talking about democracy or servants?

Muwa: You know what I'm talking about. For people here, democracy is
about the freedom to be corrupt. And those who are not corrupt, like
your buwa, they are gravely ineffective and incompetent.

JC: Muwa listen, I'm being sincere now. People are not as wise as you
are. They need a system. People like you can operate on your own.
Think about it, you operated in spite of buwa. He doesn't know how to
boil water. He never made a cup of tea in his 66 years. People like
buwa need something to cling on to, because they don't function from
within. You are self-sufficient and you have this can-do attitude,
these changes won't have impact on your life, but for someone like
buwa, who
seeks hope elsewhere, what happened recently is an
achievement.

Muwa: Save that, in case BBC interviews you.

JC: Was it a little over the top? Banita is laughing here.

Muwa: Kidding aside, you're right. Your buwa worries me. Sometimes I
worry what he will do if something happens to me. The man takes
everything for granted.

JC: Buwa is such a happy-go-lucky guy; you have to give him that. I've
never seen him stressed out about anything. You worry about
everything.

Muwa: Because I think.

JC: Buwa also thinks. Maybe not important stuff. I'm darn sure he is
worried about Girija's health.

Muwa: You know your buwa still suffers from constipation once in a
while. Every time he's constipated badly, he looks at me as if I'm
going to help him with that too. I don't know how, but I can see in
his eyes, begging for help. I think he wants me to push for him, I
suppose…

JC: (laughter)… You and your
buwa jokes. Banita laughed so hard, diet
coke came out of her nose… I'm pretty sure he is not at home right
now?

Muwa: He went for a morning walk. Hasn't been back yet. Must be
somewhere sipping tea and talking politics.

JC: He's a netaa. That's what they do.

Muwa: I don't get it. Someone like your buwa is a netaa in this
country. He doesn't understand how a family runs. I'll guarantee you
he doesn't know where his shaving cream is. How can someone like him
help the government run this country? Don't you need to have some kind
of experience of running something? At least some experience of
running your own life?

JC: Guess not. Does he still snore?

Muwa: You bet. When your mind is that empty, everything must clog up
on your nasal passage.

JC: (laughter)… Banita is rolling on the floor again.

Muwa: You have a good wife, keep her happy.

JC: Don't spoil her. We're on the speaker
phone.

Muwa: How are your didi and the rest in Denver?

JC: Dijju and the kids are fine. I talked to them last night. Vinaju,
like Buwa, is very excited about this Aandolan thing. He keeps on
sending mass emails with his opinion. He really writes horrible… both
in English and in substance, he's really bad. It's embarrassing.

Muwa: I hear he's pretty good in computer.

JC: He's a very good computer programmer.

Muwa: That's the problem with us Nepali. We just can't stick to what
we are good at. Your vinaju is a technical person, not an intellect. I
don't get it why he has to show his weakness to the whole world by
having an opinion?

JC: I can't agree more.

Muwa: What else is new in Contikut? Connect-ticket? Whatever?

JC: It sucks here. You know my grass in the front yard isn't that good
this year. I don't know what to do. I spent hours last October
fertilizing it.

Muwa: You must be
devastated. And people say Nepal has a crisis.

JC: Very funny. By the way, did you guys have enough food during the curfew?

Muwa: We had enough rice and potatoes. Some days we ate rice and
potatoes, and other days we had potatoes and rice.

JC: Someone needs to retire that joke, even you couldn't make that
funny… How are our neighbors? How is Abhay? Any improvement?

Muwa: I wasn't going to bring this up, since you did… Abhay got shot
in the rally. He was in a serious condition, but they're saying now he
will be fine.

JC: Abhay? Who took him to the rally? He's mentally retarded. What
kind of mentally retarded person takes a mentally retarded person to a
rally?

Muwa: Protesters wanted a big number. To cater BBC, CNN, and Times of
India, I suppose. Your uncle took his daughter to the rally.

JC: She's eleven.

Muwa: How do you think we got the parliament? Are you not happy we
have a parliament
now? Everything will be ok now.

JC: Sarcasm won't solve our country's problems either, muwa. For an
argument's sake, forget about Girija, Deuba, and the others… this
Maoist thing, it doesn't bother you?

Muwa: I wake up every morning at 5:30. Most of the days, there's no
water to begin my day. I clean the pooja room and do my pooja, sweep
the bedroom and make our bed. By that time your father's guests start
arriving. I make at least four rounds of tea every morning. I help
Narahari cook and clean. By the time I get a chance to breathe, it's
already 11. Then there are other dozens of chores with cleaning and
gardening and laundry and what not. I'm still fighting with my
diabetes and blood pressure. Then there are other headaches like
five-hour long load shedding. Tell me what time of the day should I
worry about the Maoists?

JC: You need a break. Come over.

Muwa: Fix your son, I'll come.


JC: Now
you're being harsh.

Muwa: I heard him call me 'Dad's mom'. I can't pronounce like you, but
I understand English.

JC: Trust me he will be punished. Banita wants to say something…

Banita: Muwa, I was praying that you didn't hear that. I'll make sure
he gets punished.

Muwa: You guys are really naïve. How can you guys make him interested
in us by punishing him? When I say fix him, I meant fix him by fixing
yourself. Especially you, Janardhan. Pay attention to your kid, spend
time with him, tell him about his family, your childhood, your
parents, your sister, make him understand the concept of being a
family. Fix your home first, there are enough people in the street to
worry about Nepal.

JC: It's not like I'm not trying. My work is very demanding.

Muwa: No job on this planet is more important than being a good
parent… Your buwa may have flaws, but he was a great father. When you
were kids, you and your
sister enjoyed every second of your time with
him.

JC: I'm not that old not to remember that. You don't know how much
dijju and I appreciate that. We were talking about that even last
night.

Muwa: You do the same. Save time for your family. By the way, you seem
to have developed a whole lot of interest in your country lately.

JC: Because it's everywhere, on TV, on the Internet. Everywhere. The
entire world is watching Nepal. It's an important event.

Muwa: Trust me it's not important. What you did was important. Leaving
this country was important. I was looking at the rally on TV the other
day; it occurred to me, any person in that crowd, any one of them, if
he is given a visa to America, he will leave this country in a
heartbeat. Good ones and lucky ones have already left. What you saw on
TV was the gathering of residues. Those who have not found a way to
escape. I tell you, unless you want to mock us, don't
be interested in
us. We have become a zoo. Foreigners come, take our pictures, and run
the headlines: "Look at these people, even they are trying." I'm
telling you, do your thing. What you're doing is important. You are
working. You are helping the economy.

JC: Now you're generalizing. I'm pretty sure there are many brilliant
people left in Nepal.

Muwa: Of course there are many brilliant people stuck in Nepal. Most
of them not by choice. The strangest thing is watching these
intellectuals trying their best, so that you don't notice them feel
sorry for themselves.

JC: I only have a minute left.

Muwa: I have many years left.

JC: I was talking about my phone card.

Muwa: I was talking about the time we will not spend talking to each
other. Like now.



JC: C'mon don't make me feel guilty. You have this uncanny ability to
make my every call a guilt trip. Send me your writings.
Hopefully,
Buwa has learned to scan the papers. One of these days, I'll convert
your writings into English and have my colleagues and friends read it…

Muwa: Why?

JC: I think your creative skepticism is worth sharing…

Muwa: Don't do it.

JC: Why not?

Muwa: Because writing is as much about language. You lose the gist in
translation. I read the Hindi version of the Hyaree Pautter. I didn't
like it. I bet it was written for English speaking world.

JC: I should have bought that 30-minute card. I'll call you next week,
same time. Tell Buwa to be at home.

Muwa: Are you all happy there?

JC: We have water.

Muwa: That's important.

JC: For grass it is

PS: This is not mine. Don't know who wrote it but he/she has done an excellent job.

A new immigration threat – Minute Men react.

According to Don Hickson, a senior member of the Minute Men Civil Defense Corps, the United States faces a grave new immigration threat. No not from the Mexicans to the South of the border but Birds that are migrating from South America to the United States. Mr. Hickson talking at a Confederate Patriot meeting said, “America is for American’s. We don’t need no goddamn foreigners here. Our ancestors gave us this land and we are the only ones who have the right to live on it. Now these alien birds are flying in and taking up our air and food. As true patriots and proud owners of this land, we cannot let that happen”.
After the meeting Mr. Hickson laid out his 5 Point plan for changing the migratory patterns of the Central and Western Artic breeders. The key measures as per his plan were
1. To build a wall high enough to stop the birds.
2. Have automated machine guns and F16’s flying around to gun down any of the birds that make it across.
3. Train American birds to identify foreign birds and report them.
4. Pass a law, which would allow the Minute Men to imprison anybody who feeds foreign birds.

Mr. Hickson also suggested that the Government officials support the Minute Men in shooting down birds, but the Republican Attorney Lobby fiercely opposed the idea and got it removed from the draft in light of a recent incident. Mr. Hickson said that he would take this proposal to Washington and hopes that it will be passed very soon.

In an un-related incident Former first lady Hillary Clinton issued a press statement that she is opposed to the immigration of birds but she is also opposed to plan put forward by President Bush.

Peace

President Bush plans to take Mother Nature to UN.

An anonymous White House official confirmed the rumors about the President’s secret meeting with Secretary of War Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Oil Dick Cheney, Junior Jesus Karl Rove and the other top administration officials. It was rumored that Mother Nature broke the last straw with the recent spate of Tornado attacks on Texas. Secretary Rumsfeld, as the grapevine goes, suggested mobilizing the 6th infantry division to conduct a quick, bloodless and strategic attack. The 23rd Fighter Group is expected to support the infantry division in this endeavor. The White House official went to say that Halliburton would most likely be awarded the contract for all the supply requirements of this war.

President Bush is expected to make this war official in the next couple of weeks. Meanwhile Secretary Rice is supposedly gathering the required evidence to make a case for going to war against Mother Nature. It is assumed that nationalistic and religious rhetoric would be used extensively to make the American public aware of the perils of Mother Nature.

In an unrelated incident Bill ‘O’ Reilly, the popular talk show host on Fox, has claimed to have sources that connect Mother Nature to Osama Bin Laden. He went to say that Mother Nature might be working in tandem with Saddam and was responsible for the dis-appearance of “Weapons of Mass Destruction” from Iraq. Meanwhile Karl Rove was caught saying the following to Rev. Pat Robertson – “Mother Nature is gay and a Satan worshipper that attacks America because she has hates Jesus”.

Peace

Walmart – How does it manage to outperform all competition??

Walmart emps just happy to be there??

No I’m not going to dissect the operational efficiencies or the intimidation tactics of the company. In recent years there has been an increased emphasis on the importance of a company’s workforce and the role it plays in the company’s success. I don’t know about you but whenever I step into a Wal-Mart the staff does not strike me as the cream of the crop (Including the manager). The news article where a Wal-Mart employee got glued to the toilet seat (and the fact that none of the employees could figure out why?) supports my earlier statement.
Quick pointer – To all of you left wingers – It is not Wal-Mart you want to change, it is the attitude of the people (Who want to shop there). Well give me a try.

Peace

Ray McGovern – An optimist beyond comprehension or just stupid

Ray McGovern, a former CIA analyst, is one of the most optimistic people I have ever seen or is plain out stupid. Mr. McGovern was heckling Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld during his speech today. Mr. McGovern asked Secretary Rumsfeld "Why did you lie to get us into a war that caused these kind of casualties and was not necessary?" (Source CNN). Now I’m all for player haters but I think it was a stupid question to ask. What did Mr. McGovern think? Rumsfeld would go ahead and tell him the real reason. Don is the king of spin and there is no way in the world he would spill the beans. However heroic, I fail to appreciate Mr. McGovern’s optimism. I think he could have better used his clout in getting answers for more meaningful questions like
01. Why does Kevin Federline keep singing?
02. Who told Adam Sandler that he was funny?
03. Is the Matrix for real?
04. What the hell is pushing Terri Seymour to sleep with Simon Cowell?

So Mr. McGovern you are trying to achieve the impossible – Finding fault with God’s favorite creation.

Peace

Pirates fans confused about ways to celebrate

The Pittsburgh Pirates fans are angry and confused about last victory over the Cubs. The Pittsburgh team,which has sworn maintain its supremacy over first round picks, has upset its fans in the last game. Jason Collins, an ardent fan who watched the Pirates game against the cubs, was aghast at their performance said "I'm not sure how to react. I had the twelve pack ready and was all set to lambaste the Pirates; but I have nothing to say to my friends. This is absolute nonsense, how can I play the sad but loyal supporter part?"

Although few in number, some of the intelligent Pirates fans have started looking for direction at fans of other teams. Ryan McMillan a graduate student at UPitt said they need to look at the Chicago baseball fans about how to handle such winning streaks. The Pittsburg Pirates also known as Butt Pirates (For taking it deep and hard over a decade) have left a sense of confusion and sadness amongst many of their fans but hopefully the Pirates promise to restore a sense of order with an outrageous loss against the Mets.

Peace

Pro Nude Women and Free Speech

Read the article by clicking on the title.
All right for all you whose general knowledge is a little limited: Tri colored flag is the flag of Iran and the solid green flag belongs to Saudi Arabia.

Peace

Humor for the week

Took some time over the weekend to visit friends. I have some good stories but need more time as I'm still recovering from having to work 8 hours a day. Here is a collection of pointers made over the week by mostly Leno, Letterman and Maher.

"I was watching that movie Mad Max, you know that movie where gas is so precious that people are killing each other for a few gallons. It was set in the future -- I believe it was August." --Jay Leno

"Queen Elizabeth turned 80 over the weekend. The queen of course a figurehead who holds no political power. Or, as we call them in this country, Democrats." --Jay Leno

"Here's a bizarre story. I'll try to put this as delicately as possible. A woman in El Salvador was arrested for smuggling into prison a hand grenade inside her vagina. Although I guess technically at that point it's no longer a hand grenade. ... In a related story, earlier today former President Bill Clinton announced he's going to El Salvador to look for weapons of mass destruction." --Jay Leno

"President Bush and Chinese President Hu said that our two countries are growing closer. In his speech, President Hu said China is providing more democracy and freedom for its people and President Bush said our government is moving closer to China's system of spying on people without warrants and holding people in jail without trials. Also, we're talking about building a 'Great Wall.'" --Jay Leno

"Rumsfeld is defiant. He says he is not backing down and he says he's going to stick around and let people criticize him for the Iranian invasion." --David Letterman

"The Minutemen, the vigilante group that's on the border, they gave Bush an ultimatum. They said, 'Either you build a wall along the border, Mr. President, or we will.' I say let them try, because if there's one thing that will change your mind about immigration, it's trying to build a 2,000-mile fence without the help of Mexicans." --Bill Maher

"What was Earth doing in the run-up to Earth Day? Well, over the last week it gave us a volcano erupting in Peru, earthquakes in Tibet, Indonesia and Japan, freak tornados in America and the Philippines, floods in Hungary, Romania, Malaysia and Kenya, wild fires in Colorado, and a category five super-cyclone that's about to destroy Darwin, Australia. Earth, could you meet me over at camera three please? Hey Earth, how's it going? So I guess kissing your ass doesn't work. We call you beautiful, precious, mother. Gave you your own day. Just like veterans and groundhogs. We even named you planet of the year in 1988 -- even though by any objective estimation that was Neptune's year. We try to make nice, and what do you do? Not only do you kill us in a thousand different ways, but when we raise your temperature by just a degree -- one little degree -- you're all, 'Oh, it's so hot now, my polar ice caps are melting!' You're a pussy! I got news for you, Earth, you're not the only rock in the neighborhood, you know what I'm saying?" --Jon Stewart

**Almost forgot, bibiliography - Source about.com** Just copied this from their site. Very little of my time was put into this post. Yes I'm not ashamed to copy.

Peace

Caitlin Flanagan - To hell with all that

Caitlin Flanagan is my new dream girl and her book “To hell with all that” I think is a brave and true account of her thoughts. In an era of pre-emptive wars, school shootings and child abuse we need to pay close attention to our social fabric. Mrs. Flanagan’s book takes us back to the joys of domestic work and the pride one should take in performing the most important and difficult job in the world (Raising kids).
The feminists are up in arms but again lesbian chicks are good for porn and that is where their usefulness stops. For those who would rather trust popular print media, this is an excerpt of her book review by the “New York Times”
No matter how vociferously they disagree with her on some things, they find themselves agreeing with much of what she writes. One suspects that were such readers to open Flanagan's essay collection, "To Hell With All That," without knowing its provenance, they would page through it eagerly, nodding and sighing and chuckling to themselves. Flanagan writes with intelligence, wit and brio. She's likable.

Peace

Unique and Unusual women in History - Lena Soderberg.

The Lenna (or Lena) picture is one of the most widely used standard test images used for compression algorithms. 'lena' or 'lenna' is a digitized Playboy centerfold, from November 1972 which also happens to be the highest sold playboy edition to-date. Lena Soderberg (ne Sjööblom) was last reported living in her native Sweden, happily married with three kids and a job with the state liquor monopoly. In 1988, she was interviewed by some Swedish computer related publication, and she was pleasantly amused by what had happened to her picture. That was the first she knew of the use of that picture in the computer business.
Kudos to the lady who can do it all, from being a playmate to a mother. Good luck and peace out.

Mary Surratt - Relatively unknown but very unusual people in history

Mary Suratt was executed because of her role in the Lincoln assassination. She along with her husband, John Surratt rented rooms in their Washington D.C. residence. John Wilikins Booth was a frequent visitor of their lodging house and a good friend of John Surratt. Mary claimed to be innocent but plea fell against deaf ears. There is a controversy about her plea; The Judge Advocate Joseph Halt claimed that then President Johnson read the plea in his presence and declined it, meanwhile President Johnson maintained that he was never shown the plea in the first place.
Either case she is a fascinating character and you can read more by clicking on the link.


Peace

Why India is playing an active role in rebuilding Afghanistan

I think the Indians helping Afghanistan rebuild is a very smart political move. It has a number of implications apart from the fact that we don’t need another cesspool of terrorism like Pakistan. India is competing with China to be the regional nexus of business. China has very strong roots in South East Asia (Mongolia, Taiwan, Philippines etc) and India is trying to get Burma, Indonesia and Afghanistan etc. I see the world as three unique trading blocs

1. The Americas
2. EU
3. Far East.

The Americas and EU are established blocs with limited potential for growth unlike the Far East. There are a couple of issues associated with this Bloc; who would lead this bloc? Japan or China? I think the Chinese have a long way to go before they can overtake Japan and the Japanese economy seems to be on the brink of recovery. I think Australia would have to be a part of this trading bloc although they at present have very strong ties with the EU. The Middle East is one of the fastest growing regions in terms of population and its trading loyalties are divided between the EU and crazy mullahs. Lets assume that this region settles down; then all the trading blocs would a piece of this oil rich pie. Although the Middle East is geographically close to the EU, it has had strong ties with Eastern Asia and the United States.

India is one of the biggest anomalies in this trading bloc demarkation. I don’t think it would be a part of the Asian or EU blocs. India is strategically aligned with the America’s. There are a number of reasons for my opinion including the rise of nationalism in India, which in turn has to increased anti-sentiment against Europe; United States and India have developed strong business links; speculation over future Chinese ambitions etc. I think the Americans have recognized this relationship and its advantages; hence they are out there wooing India in all possible ways (Including breaking the NPT). I think the Indians and the Americans want to get a really big piece of the Middle East market and Afghanistan is the precursor to this well paved plan.

The Americans also see India as an effective counter against the ever-increasing power of China but they have been very careful not to antagonize the manufacturing giant. The Americans stopped talking about Taiwan, started ignoring Kim Jong and no more “Free Tibet”. The Indians see this as an opportunity to establish themselves as a regional force and reduce the threat of Pakistan in the region. There was a slight glitch in the process as India, China and Brazil have announced a trade agreement. I don’t know the implications of this new partnership although it could be an interesting new development.

That is a lot of stuff man. Check out the pretty chick in the picture to ease your mind out of this educational bubble, I know I have to.

Peace

Jessica Simpson being sued for 100 Million Dollars

The smoking gun website has published a copy of the affidavit which demands Ms. Simpson pay a 100 million dollars for breach of contract. Ms. Simpson could not comment on the issue initially as she was having a problem with counting the number of zero’s associated with the number. Ms. Simpson who is in the processing of starting a clothing line of her own said that the “Tarrant Apparel Group” is making baseless accusations. She also went on to reiterate the fact it was important to connect spiritually with ones clothes and the external looks don’t really matter. When Jessica was asked if she was intoxicated while making the above statement, she claimed that she had not felt better in her life.
Meanwhile two businessmen who had invested heavily in clothing line being promoted by a supposedly music/movie superstar were seen at Nick Lachey’s house begging for advise.

Peace

Rev Hong Jae-chul in the race for becoming the next Falwell or Ahmadinejad.

Rev Hong Jae-chul of the CCK stated that “The Da Vinci Code” questions the principles of Christianity and hence should not be previewed in South Korea. Rev Jae-chul an ardent critic of North Korea’s policy of information censoring said that he was not trying to restrict free press but making sure that the youth are safe from this heretical work. Unfortunately Rev Jae-chul does not have any comments about the “Agency of National Security Planning”, South Korea’s supposedly security agency, which comes down on the left wingers with an iron fist. It has a history of arresting trade union leaders, prison abuse, breaking peaceful demonstrations using excessive force etc (Refer to Human Rights Watch documents at www.hrw.org).

Apparently Rev Hong Jae-chul has a soft corner for the present right wing government. People like this are much more dangerous than most dictators because they use the name of god to push their own philosophies. Here is a piece of advice for all religious fanatics: “Please don’t think the world is full of idiots, the same god who made you also made me. God does not need your protection. He/She is quite capable of doing it, hence please mind your business and if possible help a person in need." Moreover don’t expect to get the job of “Protector of religious right” as Jerry Falwell and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have already been appointed.

Peace

Finally somebody more obnoxious than O'Reilly

I think the breed of obnoxious and loud talk show hosts is on the rise and Nancy Grace is latest. She is absolutely clueless, culturally outdated and proud of it. She is eternally angry at everything in the world and her shows have no substance at all. The worst part is that she feels that she has a profound understanding of all worldly affairs. She also feels that she and her host of dumb unqualified guests have solutions to all world issues. E.g.: Ms. Grace was recently discussing the issue of sexual predators over the net and she along with her guests thought that not selling webcams to kids under 18 would resolve the issue? The argument was so meaningless and loud that it made O'Reilly look like David Frost. So please make it a point to avoid this show so as to discourage such morons from wasting TV time.

Peace

Have mercy, please think before you blog.

If you took a look at the top of my blog’s main page you would see a navigation bar which leads you to random blogs. In the past I used to hit the next button to be led to a fascinating blog and used to be one of my favorite past times but it has changed drastically. The number of ad blogs has increased phenomenally and it has been pissing me off. A bigger concern is that there has been a phenomenal increase in the number of bad bloggers. I truly believe in the Freedom of speech but these idiotic bloggers are spewing out terabytes of absolute trash. It is actually unbelievable how one can write a million fucking pages which would actually make a sane person question “If the world is full of so many stupid people, how the hell are these democracies functioning?.” Well I should not be complaining a whole lot because myspace is a just a night mare. So bad that, chronic child molesters are being turned off 13 year old kids’ blogs (There is actually a good piece on this in the onion). My humble request to all those who feel that they need to express themselves or disgorge morbidly boring details about their lifestyles, please refrain from doing so; For the sake of sanity. If you decide write, try and think for may be a minute before you so and I’m sure your blog would be a lot more meaningful.

PS: The good looking blogger syndrome is also quickly evaporating, you know there is only so much one can read through before realizing that the picture is not worth the torture.

Peace

Charles Taylor missing- Megallan blamed - Iceland is officially multi ethnic

Former Liberian dictator Charles Taylor also an alleged war criminal has gone missing from his present residence in South-Eastern Nigeria. The Nigerian authorities were quick to declare innocence on the issue. The authorities suggested that it would be difficult to find him but feel that he might have headed for south side Chicago. Kilaro Anand Paul, Charles Taylor’s spiritual advisor, has blamed Megallan for the disappearance. Mr. Paul said that Charles Taylor went out for a ride and was depending on his GPS to bring him back home. Apparently the GPS system in Mr. Taylor’s car malfunctioned and he could be anywhere. Mr. Paul also went to say that this should be a lesson for all the Christians who prefer to depend on modern equipment than on Jesus. Meanwhile there has been a lot of furor in Liberia about the sudden disappearance of Charles Taylor. When asked about the search operations, the Nigerian government spokesperson stated “Well the world is suspecting us for Mr. Taylor’s disappearance and we have question for them. If you are accusing us, then the burden of proof lies upon you. So you have to tell us where Charles Taylor is and only then can you accuse us”. The spokesperson also went to say that this kind of logic has been used by the White House ("I think the burden is on those people who think he didn't have weapons of mass destruction to tell the world where they are." –White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer, July 9, 2003) and hence is legal. Meanwhile in an unrelated incident the Government of Iceland has declared that it is now a multi-ethnic country as a black man was spotted at the Reykjavik train station.

Peace

Yulia Tymoshenko unlike Princess Leia will take down Vader

Yulia Tymoshenko the former Prime Minister of Ukraine has been gaining a lot of Political ground lately. Yulia inspired by Princess Leia wants to work towards the betterment of her country. She strongly believes that she has to beat Darth Vader in this eternal battle of good and evil. She claims that she has retained the support of Jar Jar Binks.



The Ukrainian public is optimistic about the impending change in spite of a declining economy and constant Russian interference. Yulia has high hopes for her country and has that she is extremely proud of the country's youth. She claimed that Ukraine boasts of producing the highest number of teenage hackers and migrant prostitutes. She hopes that the nuclear arsenal buried in Ukraine would be enough to blow up "Death Star". When asked what she would say to Darth Vader after vanquishing him, she replied "Who is your Babushka now Biotch?"

MN Senate Majority Leader Dean Johnson accused of Copy right infringement

Mr. Johnson was lambasted by Carl Rowe for copy right infringement. Mr. Rowe has effectively proven that using God and Gays in politics is solely his creation and has patented the concept in Hill Country, Texas. Mr. Rowe has categorically stated that such misuse by other parties will not be tolerated. Mr. Johnson, who had been a part of the Republican Party since 1978 but, moved by the striking charisma of Al Gore and unquestionable ethics of President Clinton, decided to move to the Democratic Party in 2000. Mr. Johnson claims that he has similar ideas when he was in the Republican Party and has carried them to over to his new party and hence it would not be copy right infringement. When asked by reporters Mr. Johnson stated that there is no clear demarcation of what the Republican’s and the Democrat’s can do and that they should have a committee build guidelines to avoid future embarrassments. Carl Rowe on behalf of the American Government and Jesus said that it is an acceptable solution and also stated that “It is imperative we make sure that the consequences of crossing these party lines be severe, so that nobody in the future would dare to”. Ralph Nader would be given a choice to join one of the parties or migrate to Canada. The general public is following this story keenly and hopes that this issue can be resolved quickly so that the Government can start paying attention to its welfare.

Peace

PRESIDENT'S HEARTFELT THANK YOU LETTER TO FIRST NEPHEW PIERCE BUSH FOR HIS MATURE AND ARTICULATE PUBLIC SUPPORT

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