A new immigration threat – Minute Men react.

According to Don Hickson, a senior member of the Minute Men Civil Defense Corps, the United States faces a grave new immigration threat. No not from the Mexicans to the South of the border but Birds that are migrating from South America to the United States. Mr. Hickson talking at a Confederate Patriot meeting said, “America is for American’s. We don’t need no goddamn foreigners here. Our ancestors gave us this land and we are the only ones who have the right to live on it. Now these alien birds are flying in and taking up our air and food. As true patriots and proud owners of this land, we cannot let that happen”.
After the meeting Mr. Hickson laid out his 5 Point plan for changing the migratory patterns of the Central and Western Artic breeders. The key measures as per his plan were
1. To build a wall high enough to stop the birds.
2. Have automated machine guns and F16’s flying around to gun down any of the birds that make it across.
3. Train American birds to identify foreign birds and report them.
4. Pass a law, which would allow the Minute Men to imprison anybody who feeds foreign birds.

Mr. Hickson also suggested that the Government officials support the Minute Men in shooting down birds, but the Republican Attorney Lobby fiercely opposed the idea and got it removed from the draft in light of a recent incident. Mr. Hickson said that he would take this proposal to Washington and hopes that it will be passed very soon.

In an un-related incident Former first lady Hillary Clinton issued a press statement that she is opposed to the immigration of birds but she is also opposed to plan put forward by President Bush.

Peace

President Bush plans to take Mother Nature to UN.

An anonymous White House official confirmed the rumors about the President’s secret meeting with Secretary of War Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Oil Dick Cheney, Junior Jesus Karl Rove and the other top administration officials. It was rumored that Mother Nature broke the last straw with the recent spate of Tornado attacks on Texas. Secretary Rumsfeld, as the grapevine goes, suggested mobilizing the 6th infantry division to conduct a quick, bloodless and strategic attack. The 23rd Fighter Group is expected to support the infantry division in this endeavor. The White House official went to say that Halliburton would most likely be awarded the contract for all the supply requirements of this war.

President Bush is expected to make this war official in the next couple of weeks. Meanwhile Secretary Rice is supposedly gathering the required evidence to make a case for going to war against Mother Nature. It is assumed that nationalistic and religious rhetoric would be used extensively to make the American public aware of the perils of Mother Nature.

In an unrelated incident Bill ‘O’ Reilly, the popular talk show host on Fox, has claimed to have sources that connect Mother Nature to Osama Bin Laden. He went to say that Mother Nature might be working in tandem with Saddam and was responsible for the dis-appearance of “Weapons of Mass Destruction” from Iraq. Meanwhile Karl Rove was caught saying the following to Rev. Pat Robertson – “Mother Nature is gay and a Satan worshipper that attacks America because she has hates Jesus”.

Peace

Walmart – How does it manage to outperform all competition??

Walmart emps just happy to be there??

No I’m not going to dissect the operational efficiencies or the intimidation tactics of the company. In recent years there has been an increased emphasis on the importance of a company’s workforce and the role it plays in the company’s success. I don’t know about you but whenever I step into a Wal-Mart the staff does not strike me as the cream of the crop (Including the manager). The news article where a Wal-Mart employee got glued to the toilet seat (and the fact that none of the employees could figure out why?) supports my earlier statement.
Quick pointer – To all of you left wingers – It is not Wal-Mart you want to change, it is the attitude of the people (Who want to shop there). Well give me a try.

Peace