President Bush plans to take Mother Nature to UN.

An anonymous White House official confirmed the rumors about the President’s secret meeting with Secretary of War Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Oil Dick Cheney, Junior Jesus Karl Rove and the other top administration officials. It was rumored that Mother Nature broke the last straw with the recent spate of Tornado attacks on Texas. Secretary Rumsfeld, as the grapevine goes, suggested mobilizing the 6th infantry division to conduct a quick, bloodless and strategic attack. The 23rd Fighter Group is expected to support the infantry division in this endeavor. The White House official went to say that Halliburton would most likely be awarded the contract for all the supply requirements of this war.

President Bush is expected to make this war official in the next couple of weeks. Meanwhile Secretary Rice is supposedly gathering the required evidence to make a case for going to war against Mother Nature. It is assumed that nationalistic and religious rhetoric would be used extensively to make the American public aware of the perils of Mother Nature.

In an unrelated incident Bill ‘O’ Reilly, the popular talk show host on Fox, has claimed to have sources that connect Mother Nature to Osama Bin Laden. He went to say that Mother Nature might be working in tandem with Saddam and was responsible for the dis-appearance of “Weapons of Mass Destruction” from Iraq. Meanwhile Karl Rove was caught saying the following to Rev. Pat Robertson – “Mother Nature is gay and a Satan worshipper that attacks America because she has hates Jesus”.

Peace