Water on a Saturn Moon - Can we live there?

There has been a lot of excitement in the scientific community about the possibility of existence of water on Enceladus. The existence of water is considered a pre-condition for the survival of organic life forms and the recent discovery can have far reaching consequences including the possibility of Humans populating this enchanting place. This is a transcript of my conversations with Bill O’Reilly the self proclaimed protector of the free world.

Me: Good morning Bill
Bill O’Reilly (BORE): What is good about this morning, the ACLU and New York times are still in business when I woke up.
Me: What is your opinion about the discovery of water on Enceladus?
BORE: Jesus put it there.
Me: From a scientific perspective?
BORE: Jesus put it there and you are starting to talk like a traitor.
Me: Do you think we have a possibility that we could inhabit this planet?
BORE: Sure I think it is definitely possible.
Me: How would you deals with the issues associated with such a venture for example: What if it were to be inhabited already?
BORE: Well we will send the British in first and they will take care of the savages. They have a lot of experience with that.
Me: Would you not want to co-exist with the locals?
BORE: Well we will civilize a few savages and the rest will be taken care of. We can also use Spain for this purpose.
Me: They say it very cold out there negative 188 Celsius.
BORE: Are you a terrorist?
Me: Sorry I meant to say –ve 307 Fahrenheit.
BORE: Soccer Moms and SUV’s will take care of it. Go Ford!!
Me: Who do you think has a stake on the Enceladean land?
BORE: The whole world
Me: The whole world??
BORE: I think your geography is a bit weak. The US of A, England, Ireland, Germany and Iraq – The whole world.
Me: Iraq??
BORE: Who are we going to fight there, the Irish?
Me: You know the Italians partly funded Cassini
BORE: No they have not, I think you are mistaken.
Me: I read this on the NASA web page, CNN, BBC and Google news.
BORE: You were mis-informed Fox News does not mention anything about this.
Me: But that does not justify your position that the Italians were not involved.
BORE: you are wrong and you are also a gay supporter, Jesus hater and don’t like freedom.
Me: That is n…
BORE (Interrupting me): Nope you are still wrong. Oh yeah buy my cups and T-shirts and baseball hats. Bye.

Well that was it. Stay tuned for my next interview with Michael Moore (The lord of fat complainers)
Peace

These allegations are preposterous , Yale is always right

It was an amazing coincidence that my colleague’s husband is actually trekking in Machu Picchu and I come across this news piece. I understand that Yale is trying to preserve the Incan history but it is unfair for the Peabody museum to retain these artifacts. The artifacts of the great Incan civilization belong to the locals and it is time for Yale to give back what they have takes. I guess human law is quite fallible and sometimes unnecessarily complicated. The issue here is that Peru owns this stuff; Yale took it and needs to return it back to them. Well but again the elitist Yale community always has a sophisticated explanation for their inappropriate actions; not with me though. Screw you dicks, we don’t like you. Your most popular products are politicians and we don’t like them either, give ALL the artifacts back to Peru.
Peace

Screw the Super Models, I would do a lot more for world peace

This is an inspiring story of a young man who is willing to do everything within (Maybe a little beyond) his means to promote world peace. Samaram (Name has been changed to protect the Person but if you persist I can give out his details) is an enterprising young man with a graduate degree and a successful business. In a recent conversation Samaram expressed his frustration over the level of commitment of super models/Actresses towards world peace. Here are some excerpts of our various conversations:

Me: "So what makes you think that you could better than any of the others"

Samaram: "They lack commitment and that is where I come in. Now for example if Osama comes out says that he will put an end to Jihad but Angelina Jolie has to sleep with me. Would she comply? I don't think so"

Me: "Are you suggesting that you are willing to be sexually exploited for the sake of this noble cause?"

Samaram: "Definitely, Wouldn't give it a second thought"

Me: "Aren't you partly dis-inclined given that you are not gay?"

Samaram: "No as a matter of fact, he can get experimental with me. Beat that you bitches"

Me: "What about women leaders?"

Samaram: "Even better, I'm sure Bono would not do that. Side note, I have a mean tongue and people call me Anaconda for a reason"

Me: "Leaders you would prefer to sleep with to promote world peace???"

Samaram: "Kim Jong - Small packet but I'm sure he is dynamite. Khaleda Zia amongst females."

Me: "Most politicians have a tendency to lie. Are you sure that they would not take advantage of your raw beauty but not come through later on?"

Samaram: "I knew that this question would arise. I have a strategy - Once I give these leaders a taste of my flower (Preferably Lilies) like skin and forbidden honey pot, I will stop calling them. You know dear that I'm like a drug once you taste me you can never let go, so these leaders will get a taste of the power of hunger like the citizens of their countries."

Me: "So they will listen to you and in turn push for world peace."

Samaram: "Absolutely"

Me: "Advise for youngsters?"

Samaram: "Do whatever it takes. I have done them. Never abuse animals. Not a good idea. Screw you Saddam, I tried but man goats are not really my .... Sorry I'm blabbering"

Me: "Finally do you think leaders would succumb to your advances?"

Samaram: "Here is a picture. Do you think any human can resist me?"

Well thank you Samaram for making the world a better place.

Peace

The guy who cleans the bathrooms at your office

Like most other offices we have Mexicans who clean the building, bathrooms and cut the grass. The other day on my way to the cafe I overheard a lady stating that these Mexicans keep stealing American jobs. Well this is what I wanted to say to her
"Bitch you have no clue what you are talking about. In the first place they are not stealing American jobs but they are doing those jobs, which most Americans would not. You also should remember that we stole California from them. The Aztec community was prosperous and scientifically advanced until the Spaniards decided to civilize the savages. Well within a matter of half-a-century the whole race was just about erased from the face of earth. Finally it is just not right to talk about anybody the way you have. It is very important to remember that we were born as humans and then we be became citizens of our respective countries. Well I hope the birds shit on your new Prada shoes."
I'm sorry my Mexican brother excuse her ignorance and thank you helping us live better.
Click on the link for more information about the Aztecs.

Peace