World leaders congratulate China on promoting freedom of speech

Many of the industrialized nations of the world congratulated China today on their impressive handling of human rights issues. German Chancellor Angela Merkel joined Belgian Prime Minister Guy Verhofstadt in extending accolades to the Chinese government over blocking the search engine Google. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper applauded the Chinese public for their obedience. He also went on to say “I wish the Canadians were more like the Chinese, that way we could achieve more progress and I can implement meaningful programs. I’m sick of being scrutinized by the press and having to answer to general public.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair stated the Chinese are setting a precedent that the world would have to follow for the sake of democracy and freedom. He later assured the press that just because he used the words “democracy” and “freedom” in the same sentence with China does not automatically imply that the “Coalition of the Willing” would not attack China. Meanwhile Fidel Castro, the official god of Cuba launched a scathing attack against China calling them communist pigs and he would burn in hell before conducting business with a country that follows communism – An ideology that Cuba has vehemently fought against in the last 50 years. Meanwhile Secretary Rice speaking at the White House on behalf of President Bush said “We have always endorsed China to follow its present policies and that is why we conduct the most business with this country. They are very good at what they do but their communist policies along with their strong inclination for free speech and their effort to uphold human rights is the driving force for the close relationship between us and China.”

Peace

PS: I could not find a picture that depicts the true nature of the Chinese government towards free speech. Apparently they were all censored.

YITO of St.Vincent and the Grenadines hopes to at least beat Canada

Inspired by the recent surge in the recruitment of young men into Islamic terrorism, the Young Islamic Terrorist Organization (YITO) of St.Vincent and the Grenadines has launched an ambitious program to achieve higher visibility. Farooq Al-Dhimmi, the self proclaimed leader of YITO has expressed concern over Israeli – Palestinian conflict and said “We have to help our Moslem brothers in Palestine, so we are trying to raise an army here”. Mr. Al-Dhimmi was quite enthusiastic about creating a stir in the Islamic terrorist world and is hoping that St.Vincent and the Grenadines would be ranked among the top 50. He also was unhappy about the state of Islamic youth in his town who he claims are wayward. Mr. Al-Dhimmi said “Now-a-days these kids want to read, reason, drink and date. Allah is not going to forgive them and we are particularly concerned that devil- worshipping countries like Canada have been overtaking us in the terrorist activity list. I know we are small country but we can do much better.”
Farooq Al-Dhimmi went on to state that he is planning to institute a 9-step plan, which will assist the kids understand the significance of Islam and how all the non – believers will burn in hell for eternity. When asked about the intolerance of radical Islam towards other religions Mr. Al-Dhimmi said, “Islam is all about tolerance and equality. We love everybody and everyone is equal in the eyes of Allah, unless you are Jew….Hindu, Buddhist, Christian and a few other clauses”.

Peace