Osama is happy to be in the no.1 spot

Mr. Bin Laden let a sigh of relief in his isolated and under-decorated Tora Bora cave as soon as his agent Muhammad Al Tikriti Al Bulbul Al Dickhead informed him about the shift in rankings. Mr. Bin Laden had not been doing well lately with the arrival of naturals like Katrina and Tsunami. He has held a relative sway in the notorious world rankings fending off mild competition from Mr. Kim Jong Il (For his actions and treatment of people in North Korea), Mr. Zarqawi (For his terrorist actions), Mr. Pat Robertson (For his stupidity) and Mr. Simon Colwell (For being himself).

Mr. Laden quoted to the Al-Jazeera reporter that he was happy and that it was because of Allah that he was able to retain this title also adding that there was a Jewish conspiracy. When asked why and where the conspiracy was Mr. Bin Laden declined to comment and wanted to end the interview with a threat that "United States will pay if it does not withdraw from Iraq". When Osama was told that the Americans were paying a very heavy price to stay in Iraq and trying to improve the situation he reacted angrily that he does not want Western Values in the pure Moslem world.

The reporter wanted to continue his interview but he was interrupted by Mr. Bin Laden's agent who wanted to let Osama know that his new 11 year old bride is ready to be deflowered. Osama looked at his Rolex and almost jumped out of his seat and quickly popped a few Viagra’s before slipping into inner cave room. Osama's agent refused to comment but categorically stated that although there have been rumors that Osama's power has dwindled tremendously he still can generate interest through audio threats and vague references. When asked about career alternatives, Mr.Bin Ladens agent said that Osama might be interested in joining either the Dixie Chicks (He has experience in audio recording) or take a position with Halliburton (especially marketing) so that he can use his past contacts.

Peace