My inspiration

I haven’t updated this blog in a while because I have been busy. Well thanks to the Chinese my romantic life has taken off, I can finally afford a blow up doll. Actually it has been a dull social week for me in all honesty the most exciting thing during this week was visiting the DMV today. I don’t want to go into further details of my personal life but if you think “not only is his life pathetic but how does he have the stomach to tell people about this abomination he calls life”. Most people cannot but I happen to have a unique source of inspiration that not drives me to live through this wretched life but infact enjoy it. I want to narrate an event that happened in A’s (I’m not using his full name for privacy purposes and mind you this is a true story) life a week ago.

A happens to know a girl called Lauren, who he thinks is crazy in love with him. Lauren is one of the good things happening in A’s life right now. A calls Lauren to see if she wants to go out and she says that will give him a call if she feels like it. So A waits around a little and finally decides to get some coffee and she sees Lauren at the coffee shop with another guy. So when he walked up to her she gave him a lame reason that she just felt like getting coffee heading back home and the guy was a “friendly” neighbor. Well A decides to give her the benefit of doubt and heads back home. Around 11PM, A goes to a bar to hang out and lo! Behold he sees Lauren there again.

This time he decides to avoid her so tries to walk out of the bar through the back door but unfortunately trips on his way out and rips his pants wide apart. The loud thud, which accompanied his fall, attracted the attention of the drinkers including Lauren. A decided to act civil and not acknowledge the presence of Lauren. He walked out of the bar only see somebody had stolen all 4 of his tires (I don’t know how). A felt a surging pain in heart (he hates to spend money) but decided to take this calamity into stride. In the process of waiting for a tow truck he saw Lauren step out of the bar for a cigarette and to avoid any sort of embarrassing conversation/confrontation, A pulls out his cell phone acts as if he is having an intense conversation.

A was getting a little tired of his phone act when he sees the tow truck pull into the parking lot and thanked god for saving his last shred of dignity. A starts walking nonchalantly towards his car but unfortunately had to cross Lauren and her group of friends on his way to the car. So A carries on his phone act but as soon as he crossed Lauren his phone starts ringing (I guess I was the one who called him). A frantically tried to turn of the ringer as people looked at him strange. In the process of trying to turn off the ringer A drops the phone in a pile of puke (I suppose some kid had too much to drink).

A not only told me this story but laughed about it and so did I. “This guy is my inspiration to live life no matter how bad it gets” – usually you get to listen to heart warming stories of kids fighting cancer associated with this line but I’m a realist so I figured a dose of reality would be fun.

PS: This was written in jest but A’s story is real.