Dallas wants gays and lesbians

The city officials of Dallas have decided to attract more gays and lesbians into the city. Dick Spooner an official in the Dallas tourism department said “Since the republicans lost the house we figured we would lose the political tourists and in an effort to retain some of them and encourage others we have decided to make Dallas a Gay/Lesbian friendly city, not that it was un-friendly in anyway earlier. More over the transition would be easier as we are already used to cowboy boots and butch women.”

Starbucks, the Seattle based coffee retailer, offered to assist the city by opening more coffee shops in the city. Jean Backrider, the Texas area manager for Starbucks, said that it is key to have a wide variety of confusing coffee types to attract G’s and L’s (Apparently that is the new hip term for gays and lesbians). It is assumed that companies like Pottery Barn and Gucci are to follow suit.

The association of “straight but wear leather pants, cowboy boots and big belt buckles in a city” of Dallas was the first to protest the new stance of the city officials. Robert Dude, a senior member of the association, said “We don’t want to be confused as gays just because we wear leather pants and cowboy boots. We are manly men. Some of our members are being swayed by the concept of getting free drinks but are not aware of the aftermath. We will not put up with this non-sense. We will demand that all gays wear pink boots only. Moreover we are already facing difficulty buying a cup of coffee. I don’t freakin know what a mocha double shot with tangerine syrup and whipped cream means? All I want is a cup of coffee with sugar and yesterday it took me 10 minutes to order my coffee.” Mr. Dude did admit in private that the Mocha double shot was good but it would have been better with pomegranate.

Although most Dallas residents could care less about the new policy there is quite a bit of stir in the political community that god hating liberals are penetrating the last standing fortress of Jesus, Texas. The TV cable news channels, anticipating a battle have already picked sides and experts on the issue.

This is C&C signing out from downtown ft.worth.

Peace