Public grieving banned in India

The Indian Ministry of Communications has taken radical but appropriate steps to curb violence against Moslems. The Indian Government in a desperate attempt to protect Moslems in India from guilt, has banned all Non-Moslems from grieving. D.S. Mathur, secretary for telecommunications, has informed the press that this ban will be effective starting Friday the 21st. He also substantiated the government banning the website www.mumbaihelp.blogspot.com which just lists the people (This website does exist and has been banned by the Indian government for reasons unknown – Source www.news.com) who have been hurt in the “Freedom Struggle” incident by saying “Well we don’t want Pakistan to think that we don’t like Moslems. Moreover we don’t want people to get angry when their kin is hurt or dead, we would prefer they realize this on their own. It is very simple if your loved one hasn’t come home since the 11th, they are dead; why do we need a website for that? India is a democratic and secular country and we intend to keep it that way and I also would like to apologize to the Moslem population for the commotion these deaths are causing.”

The logistics of such an undertaking would require phenomenal resources but the Indian government has decided fund it in wake of the seriousness of the problem. The DoT is drafting a new law where grieving Non-Moslem grievers would be severely and swiftly punished. It is rumored that funds from the educational department would be directed towards implementing this program. The Indian government has established an email address for all those who want to protest, it is www.direct-to-recyclebin@india.gov.
Pakistan's Foreign Minister Mehmood Kasuri, hailed the decision as a relationship builder but said “Well the damage is already done. My Moslem brothers are already feeling guilty and I hope the relatives of the dead are happy now. Manmohan was slow to act but well he at least acted.” It is anticipated that Prime Minister Manmohan Singh would render a personal apology to Moslems worldwide for the guilt they had to suffer because of the Mumbai incident. Ahmed Khan, who lost his father in the Mumbai Incident, was appalled at the Indian government’s patronizing behavior and apathy towards terrorism but was unavailable for comment.

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