Talking with Michael Moore

As promised I decided to publish my ramblings with Michael Moore on the idea of “Colonization of Enceladus”

Me: Hello Mr. Moore
Michael Moore (MM): Al-Salamu Alaykum
Me: Thank you for your effort but I’m not a Moslem
MM: Well this interview is over I don’t talk to Jews or Christians
Me: I’m a Hindu, would you that do
MM: well okay but I’m not as thrilled as I was before the interview.
Me: Thank you. What is your opinion about the discovery of water on Enceladus?
MM: Well it should have been discovered a long time ago. These evil corporations have stalled our growth for a long time.
Me: I beg to differ.
MM: You have been misled by the media and the Bush family.
Me: I don’t think President Bush had anything to do with it
MM: No he is responsible for all evils in the world including Hurricane Katrina and the Asian Tsunami.
Me: I disagree, that is Mother Nature. I don’t think President Bush has the power to control nature.
MM: You have no idea; these guys were responsible for the9/11 attacks too. Have you not seen my movie?
Me: I did. Good entertainment but that is what it amounts to. Do you think it would be possible to inhabit Enceladus?
MM: Yes but Halliburton will get the contract.
Me: How will you deal with the issues associated with such a venture for example: What if it were to be inhabited already?
MM: United States has already setup camp on Enceladus. It is Cheney’s new hunting resort, he hunts the locales.
Me: That is preposterous.
MM: You have no idea what Americans are capable of. They are evil.
Me: I think you have a very negative opinion of this country.
MM: Yes I have America and you should too, after what they have done to you.
Me: No, I like this country, great place and has treated me very well. No complaints.
MM: What about the way they treated your country?
Me: The Arabs and Brits screwed us in the past but United States was not a part of it.
MM: This place is ruled by white people, don’t you find it offensive.
Me: US is primarily a Caucasian country and a democracy so it is natural to have a white leader. Which country should have the first right to set up camp on Enceladus?
MM: Iran.
Me: They don’t have the technology, the history or the interest.
MM: Then we should give them what is required for them to achieve that.
Me: That does not make sense why would any country do that.
MM: Because Bush is evil
Me: I cannot see a connection.
MM: That is because you are stupid, so is Rumsfeld.
Me: You are being rude and obnoxious
MM: No, we Canadians are not that way.
Me: I thought you grew up in Michigan
MM: I’m Canadian and I think you are connected to Martian – Halliburton arms deal.
Me: I have no clue what you are talking about
MM: You white people never understand us.
Me: I’m not white, you are.
MM: That is because you are leading me to believe that what you believe is what I should believe.
Me: What have you been smoking?
MM: I hate the cigarette companies and Bush is responsible for causing infertility in the world.
I had to stop at this point because I was getting dizzy talking to MM. Well I don’t really know what he said but I know they were a lot accusations.