Britney's hair on sale

Britney Spears recently checked into a rehab center and checked out a day later. There are a number of rumors as to why she checked into rehab but the most obvious answer is that she was addicted to "Being herself". Although the pop star tries hard to shake off the trailer trash image she apparently always seems to take a step in the wrong direction. The new Britney has shaved her head; well she probably had a $1000 per hour hair dresser do it for her.

Ron Burgundy, a native of little town Indiana, is the highest bidder for the hair (does not include body hair0 that is being auctioned by Federline enterprises. A lesser know fact is that Kevin Federline was granted half of Britney's hair as a part of their divorce settlement. Mr. Burgundy is ecstatic about the bid but is quite vary of the competition. When asked if this hair is for his girl friend he said "Are you crazy, youalls knows how great it would be to make a wig out of her hair? I love mullets and theys are in fashion. I love Billy Ray Cyrus, god bless em".

Meanwhile Ms. Spears was pleasantly surprised that she has fan following in the trailer trash community and said she will make a lot more effort to cater to their needs.

Peace

Gen. Petraeus shocks world with new comments about Iraq

General David Petraeus, the new U.S. military commander in Iraq, shocked the world when he said that the Iraq would be doomed unless the present civil war is not contained. There was an immediate furor worldwide as people thought that Iraq would be doing well even if the civil war were to continue. Secretary Rice praised the new appointee's ability to understand the situation so well. Vladimir Putin, the Russian king, was so surprised by the news that he called his American counterpart to confirm the message that was conveyed.

General Petraeus also stated that the stakes were very high in Iraq which caught the attention of the American public who were unaware of the fact. Foxnews was the first to congratulate the general on his honesty and truthiness (Thank you Colbert Report). The world watches in anticipation as the experienced General jumps into action and I think we will hear more from him in the near future. So don't be surprised to hear things like the Shia's and Sunni's are fighting in Iraq but be grateful to General Petraeus as he is all about telling us what we don't know.

Peace

De Beers sets things right

De Beers, one of the biggest diamond mining companies in the world, has finally set things right in the diamond world by selling 26% of its share to a black owned company. Hektor Van Mask, a De Beer's spokesperson, said "Well all the small inconveniences caused to the locals would be resolved by this gesture. We hope that you would give your girl friend or wife a diamond this Valentines day. The black people need the money." Mr. Van Mask declined to accept the fact that there was such a concept as rebels using proceeds from mined diamonds to commit atrocities against innocent people. He said "We have never heard about it but we cannot comment if the black company that owns a part of De Beers is responsible for it. So Caucasians and Asians are absolved of causing or supporting any voilence in Africa. Rappers your motherland is Detroit."

Jim Teddy, a resident of New York said "I'm so happy. You have no idea the kind of suffering I went through gifting my Girl Friend a diamond ring last year. It was a very difficult time for me and thanks to De Beers I can buy diamonds at peace. Oh yeah, things are better in Africa with all the rich black people."

Peace

Till death do us part

Anna Nicole Smith provided a lot of material for TV over the past years and I had laughed at jokes that were directed at a her quite a few times. It is funny although I lack any connection with the her I think it is sad that she had died at a young age.
Tragedy is a very funny thing. It brings people together. Well hope she is in a better place.

Peace

Stewie

Flag controversy again

The customs house museum in Clarksville, TN was about to become the center of flag desecration controversy before the museum director removed the fried American flags. Although the official reason was that people don’t appreciate their symbol of nationhood being fried, Billy Brian the town spokesperson said “We were more scared that the flags would be consumed. The situation worsened when the fried flag display was placed next to the ketchup bottle display. We did not want any untoward incident to occur and then start blaming people and hence we took pre-emptive action. Moreover who can resist fried stuff with ketchup?”

When asked if they expect any protests from the locales Mr. Brian said “Well the town fair is going to start in a week so most people are primarily focused on it. You know it has the biggest merry-go-round in district. Moreover who cares about freedom of speech or disparaging our national flag, monster truck season is also right around the corner. This season is going to be the best and you better believe it because the poster says so.”
This is C&C signing out from Clarksville, TN (Population 280, welcome board says “Screw civil liberties and your cousins as long as they older than 12”)

Peace

Dallas wants gays and lesbians

The city officials of Dallas have decided to attract more gays and lesbians into the city. Dick Spooner an official in the Dallas tourism department said “Since the republicans lost the house we figured we would lose the political tourists and in an effort to retain some of them and encourage others we have decided to make Dallas a Gay/Lesbian friendly city, not that it was un-friendly in anyway earlier. More over the transition would be easier as we are already used to cowboy boots and butch women.”

Starbucks, the Seattle based coffee retailer, offered to assist the city by opening more coffee shops in the city. Jean Backrider, the Texas area manager for Starbucks, said that it is key to have a wide variety of confusing coffee types to attract G’s and L’s (Apparently that is the new hip term for gays and lesbians). It is assumed that companies like Pottery Barn and Gucci are to follow suit.

The association of “straight but wear leather pants, cowboy boots and big belt buckles in a city” of Dallas was the first to protest the new stance of the city officials. Robert Dude, a senior member of the association, said “We don’t want to be confused as gays just because we wear leather pants and cowboy boots. We are manly men. Some of our members are being swayed by the concept of getting free drinks but are not aware of the aftermath. We will not put up with this non-sense. We will demand that all gays wear pink boots only. Moreover we are already facing difficulty buying a cup of coffee. I don’t freakin know what a mocha double shot with tangerine syrup and whipped cream means? All I want is a cup of coffee with sugar and yesterday it took me 10 minutes to order my coffee.” Mr. Dude did admit in private that the Mocha double shot was good but it would have been better with pomegranate.

Although most Dallas residents could care less about the new policy there is quite a bit of stir in the political community that god hating liberals are penetrating the last standing fortress of Jesus, Texas. The TV cable news channels, anticipating a battle have already picked sides and experts on the issue.

This is C&C signing out from downtown ft.worth.

Peace

Scottsdale - Clean and white

I have been in a writing coma for the last three months. One of the reasons for the coma was because of my new job. Anyways I decided to move to Phoenix as my new job does not have a restriction on where I live. Scottsdale, a suburb of Phoenix, is where I chose to move to and it is a very clean place. My friend and I hit the town every once in a while and I was disturbed by the uniformity of the society. Last night sitting in a trendy place called "33" I was looking around to see some sort of a color variation amongst people but could not find any. The only black people I saw were on TV.

I think uniformity amongst people reduces friction but should color be one of the factors? I will not go into this cliched rant about equality of people ir-respective of color but make a few points about diversity that are critical to a good society.

01. Cultural awareness in one of the key factors that allows people of various backgrounds co-exist peacefully. Now Scottsdale is full of rich white people and it is very likely that most of them would in decision making positions in the future. Hence I think it is important that these kids be exposed to a variety of cultures. I'm not talking about the one hour visit to the ghetto but a some sort of an interaction with the others (Others implying cultures, classes, countries etc).

02. There is no chance that Chad's parents are going to live in west side Detroit or Jamal's parents in Bloomfield hills. The best chance for amalgamation takes place in colleges and it is critical for schools for encourage this cross cultural exchange of thoughts. Thanks to sports a number of schools do boast of a decent mix of students and hopefully it will help the future generations.

So people stop dreaming about a colored or a female president, look at reality and start working towards an amicable solution.

Peace

White & Nerdy

Music video by "Weird Al" Yankovic from the album "Straight Outta Lynwood"

A New India August 15 1947

The newsreel announcing India's independence to US audiences on August 15, 1947 (the first part deals with Pakistan's Independence the previous day). Shows Nehru delivering his famous "Tryst with Destiny" speech to the Assembly in Delhi with Lord and Lady Mountbatten in attendance. Uncut.

5000 Years of known history

Sometimes I wonder where we as humans are headed dragging this planet along with us. The reality looks grim. If we were to look at the five major world religions we see that the most common thread amongst all is Love and Peace but unfortunately the same concept of religious binding is used to wage war. It is not the first time and sadly it will not be the last. I thought I would never do this but I would rather watch Jerry Springer than watch war. Why can't people realize that war cannot bring Peace? Either case I'm sad and frightened by the recent events and truly hope that this madness comes to an end.

Public grieving banned in India

The Indian Ministry of Communications has taken radical but appropriate steps to curb violence against Moslems. The Indian Government in a desperate attempt to protect Moslems in India from guilt, has banned all Non-Moslems from grieving. D.S. Mathur, secretary for telecommunications, has informed the press that this ban will be effective starting Friday the 21st. He also substantiated the government banning the website www.mumbaihelp.blogspot.com which just lists the people (This website does exist and has been banned by the Indian government for reasons unknown – Source www.news.com) who have been hurt in the “Freedom Struggle” incident by saying “Well we don’t want Pakistan to think that we don’t like Moslems. Moreover we don’t want people to get angry when their kin is hurt or dead, we would prefer they realize this on their own. It is very simple if your loved one hasn’t come home since the 11th, they are dead; why do we need a website for that? India is a democratic and secular country and we intend to keep it that way and I also would like to apologize to the Moslem population for the commotion these deaths are causing.”

The logistics of such an undertaking would require phenomenal resources but the Indian government has decided fund it in wake of the seriousness of the problem. The DoT is drafting a new law where grieving Non-Moslem grievers would be severely and swiftly punished. It is rumored that funds from the educational department would be directed towards implementing this program. The Indian government has established an email address for all those who want to protest, it is www.direct-to-recyclebin@india.gov.
Pakistan's Foreign Minister Mehmood Kasuri, hailed the decision as a relationship builder but said “Well the damage is already done. My Moslem brothers are already feeling guilty and I hope the relatives of the dead are happy now. Manmohan was slow to act but well he at least acted.” It is anticipated that Prime Minister Manmohan Singh would render a personal apology to Moslems worldwide for the guilt they had to suffer because of the Mumbai incident. Ahmed Khan, who lost his father in the Mumbai Incident, was appalled at the Indian government’s patronizing behavior and apathy towards terrorism but was unavailable for comment.

Peace

Shaadi.com launches Shaadi-Online.com

The creators of Shaadi.com, one of the most popular Indian marriage websites, have decided to provide a new service to Brides and Grooms. This service which is soon to start would only be provided to Brides living in India marrying Grooms living outside the country. Shaadi-online is designed to alleviate the issues surrounding the cross continental marriages which have become common now-a-days. Some of the key features of Shaadi-online are:

It provides an “Employment Profile” of the groom which includes how long he has been on the bench, technologies he has been working on, expected income growth chart, would he be able to get a job in India and possibilities of getting fired. Another feature that Shaadi-online claims it has included after receiving an overwhelmingly positive response in the surveys they conducted is “Character Verification”. Although this service would come with a premium charge the demand for this utility is expected to outweigh the cost. Character Verification reports are expected to include personal interview with the prospective candidate, health reports, psychoanalytic profile, extensive reference checks and family background checks.

Shaadi-Online has also included an online marriage module in their package which has turned a number of heads. This module allows the couple to get married online with the help of a webcam. A common webcam link would be created and family and friends can watch the webcast on invitation. Rajini Komma of Hyderabad one of the pilot brides was very happy with the experience and said “It was very good, I have never met Rig (My husband) but he is an admin, makes around 90K and scored 85% on the character scale. We were lucky and the reference list, which was extensive, provided a lot of insight into what Rig makes. Now I’m sure that I can lead a good life with a big house and a car. Moreover Shaadi-Online assisted me with visa appointments. I’m very happy.”
Ram Jain, Shaadi-Online’s spokesperson, said “We are very fortunate to serve our home country and support its traditions. I like Hinduism because it is very spiritual and it is the oldest religion that subscribes to rejecting materialism as a path to enlightenment. We are very happy to serve such people and I want to wish Rajini Komma good luck. We have received positive feedback and I think there are a lot more girls like Rajini for the lucky guys living outside India.” It is expected that Shaadi-Online would be go live in the next week and already has received Character Report and Employment Profile requests to the point that they would have double their staff to meet the demand.

Peace

Cheney’s Pacemaker working fine

Doctors at George Washington University Medical Center have given Vice President Dick Cheney a clean bill of health. There have been a few concerns about the Vice President’s pacemaker over the last few months. VP Cheney had been under a lot of pressure lately especially dealing with the catastrophe in New Orleans which required him to visit the area multiple times. The Vice President despite warnings from his doctors decided to visit this grief stricken area but was shaken when he encountered an unprecedented number of African Americans. Lea Anne McBride, Cheney’s spokesperson, said “Dick is a tough cookie but he was absolutely devastated by the reality of the situation. You know it is difficult for him to comprehend that America has so many black people; he has recovered well but it is still haunting him.” It is rumored that VP Cheney is planning to attend the NASCAR race at Daytona to get a higher dose of whiteness.

Dr. Ray Sevens, Chief Cardiologist at GMU Medical Center, speaking about VP Cheney’s pacemaker said “Dick is a unique case. His heart strangely is a quite colder than any I have seen before and hence we had to get a pacemaker that would accommodate the coldness. Luckily the Vice President does not work his heart a lot which is contributing to his recovery. We are hoping that he would work heartlessly in the future so that he can live a long and fruitful life.” Anticipating an attack by the democrats on the heartless policies of the Vice President, Karl Rove launched a pre-emptive defensive measure by floating rumors that Dick Cheney works with his heart and that is why he is shooting rich lawyers.

Peace

Stunning News!!! Car Bomb marker of Taliban presence in Afghanistan says Pamela Constable of Washington Post

In a stunning revelation Pamela Constable of the “Washington Post” reported that a recent car bomb in Qalat, Afghanistan indicates the presence of Taliban in that region. This came as a shock to the world who believed otherwise. Andrew King, a security analyst with the Department of Defense, said “This is such a shocker that even the bigwigs at DoD were floored by the revelation. Unlike other news sources like New York Times, BBC, CNN etc, Washington Post always has creative and explosive stories. I don’t know how they do it I’m sure you could not have guessed that the Taliban was still alive in Afghanistan. We thought they had all left the mountainous area for the coast. I mean who can resist the sea?”

The excitement in the journalist community was equally high and was well represented in the words of Tim Russert, of “Meet the Press”, who said “It is unbelievable!! I have to admit that I’m a little jealous of Pamela. I wonder where she came with such an amazing story and none of had an idea. I for one never thought the Taliban was still in Afghanistan, it is like having black people in Sweden. I have heard the news of cars blowing up mysteriously, our soldiers getting killed but the widely accepted theory was that Aliens from the Alpha Centauri galaxy were causing the havoc.”

While the whole world is trying to digest this amazing news Ms. Constable is already working on a story where she is expected to report that millions are starving in Africa which has already turned a number of heads around the world. It is rumored that a number of Sudanese were surprised to learn that their next door neighbors are starving. It is expected that Ms. Constable would earn the “Pulitzer Prize” for 2006.

Peace

Province Town to become a little more gay

Inspired by the defeat of the recent attempt by the White House to ban gay marriage and the willingness of the society to accept homosexuals, Fabulous and Gay Society (FAGS) of Cape Cod, MA has decided to make their community a little more “Gay Friendly”. Rupert Crisp, Governor of FAGS – Cape Cod, announced today that he is going to push for a number of changes which would most likely be accepted by the Province Town city council. The crux of this new bill, named “Happyjack”, can be surmised by the following points:

Traffic light colors would be changed to be more gay friendly. Red lights are to be replaced with Alizarin Crimson, Yellow with Tangerine Lemon and Green with Olive drab malachite.

Government offices will have to post messages in Gaylick (Not to be confused with Gaelic) along with English. Government forms should ask sensitive questions like weight, year of birth and must accept personal headshots for license pictures.

Reduce taxes on gourmet coffee, Millivres Prowler products and Pottern Barn.

There has been a furor over the “Happyjack” bill especially from the “All Male Association” (AMA) of Hicksville, MS. Taylor Dinks of AMA said “How can we let this happen in our neighborhood. I don’t want my kids to see this atrocity. I will not let these guys defile Jesus.” Mr. Crisp of FAGS in response to this statement said “I don’t know what is bothering this hick. I think he should stop having kids with his sister and that way the future generations would be a little smarter. I’m sure Taylor has never been to Cape Cod and I don’t expect his kids to do any better. Moreover Mr. Dinks you don’t have to watch this atrocity as it will not be on CMT or Fox news.” When Mr. Dinks heard Rupert’s response he was fuming and said “Well that is how you look and talk when you have a plug up your butt. Moreover I would rather sleep with my sister than my brother.” When asked questions about American geography, Mr. Taylor Dinks proved to quite ill-informed badly misjudging the location of most American cities.

Peace

Paris planning a new show, also wants to help Africans

Paris Hilton, inspired by the recent surge of Hollywood superstars getting involved in Africa, has decided to pay a visit to the continent herself. Since UN has declined to be associated with Ms. Hilton, she decided to team up with another organization that is equally respected – Fox News to help Africans. Fox News executive producer Clay Emerson said that they are planning something in the lines of Ms. Hilton’s previous show “A simple life.” Mr. Emerson is quite optimistic about the project and said, “I’m excited to be working with Paris. Moreover we would be doing service to Africans by providing them with impeccable entertainment. The writers are working extra hard on this show to work in the African element and it will definitely do better than Ms. Hilton’s previous shows. Paris and Nicole would live with an African family in Sudan helping them cook and clean. The show would obviously have the charmingly innocuous goof ups by the stars like burning up food while trying to cook, accidentally opening the door to let the Janjaweed in or spilling the last pot of water. We are expecting it to be a heart warming and funny show.”

Ms. Hilton was a lot more excited about visiting Africa and went to say, “This is so exciting. Africa is hot. I hope Nicole comes along and if not we can still keep in touch as I have my T-Mobile sidekick. Angelina got a lot of press over it and I hope I can too. You have no idea how difficult it is to stay popular. People don’t want to see me anymore, not even naked. I understand the problems of the Africans and I can relate well because of some of my personal experiences. I want to help the Africans so I’m planning to teach them how to dress better.” Meanwhile former UN special representative to Sudan Jan Pronk expressed his surprise at the ability of Hollywood stars to predict what Africa needs and wants. He said, “I’m happy that Paris recognized the importance of improving the dressing standards in Sudan. Moreover her show would definitely be a welcome relief to the people of Sudan, who have been watching constantly watching violence.”

Peace

PS: Today is “World Refugee Day”.

Indian husband arrested for setting temperature too low under section 498A

Ramesh Tiwari, a software engineer living in Boulder - CO, has been arrested by the Indian police on charges of harassment under section 498A. Mr. Tiwari got married to Ms. Nisha Nagpur in 2004 and they started living as a married couple in Boulder from then on. Ms. Nagpur has filed a complaint in March 2006 claiming that her husband has been harassing her. Ms. Nagpur said, “Ramesh sets the temperature of the house to 69F even in the winter. It gets cold at night and he has a tendency to hog the comforter. I have tried using a higher thread count comforter but to no avail. I had warned him a couple times that I get cold at night and he usually suggests spooning as an alternative. I mean there is a limit to what one can take in terms of mental abuse and Ramesh has crossed it. The worst part of the episode is that I told the same to his mother but she conveniently claimed ignorance of whole Heating the house and translating the Fahrenheit into Celsius concept.”

Unlike many other women who consistently get abused by their husbands Ms. Nagpur came back to India and sought the help of a women’s liberation organization led by Ms. Jhansi Gandthode. Ms. Gandthode advised Nisha to file a case under section 498A against Mr. Tiwari and any other alleged perpetrators. Ms. Gandthode in a public statement said, “I’m a firm supporter of equality of genders. The horrendous acts of Ramesh have caused a lot of grief to my sister Nisha. All these men have no idea how difficult it is to sleep well at 69 F and that too with a low thread count comforter. Moreover Nisha’s husband made her watch a 35” TV while he could afford to buy a 55” and because of this Nisha now strains her eyes whenever she watches TV in general. This man is a monster and has to be taken down.”

Ms. Nagpur had filed a complaint to the police accusing Mr. Tiwari and his mother of harassing her mentally under section 498A. Section 498A of the Indian penal code was structured to protect women against abuse and has the following caveats:

01. The accused (This case the husband) is guilty until proven innocent.
02. The woman can file a complaint without any evidence as her statement is considered as evidence.
03. The woman can name accomplices in the crime and they will automatically be considered guilty until proven innocent.
04. The arrest is non-bailable
05. The woman cannot be prosecuted for perjury or sued for libel incase she is proven wrong.

Nirmala Tiwari, the octogenarian mother of Ramesh Tiwari, was taken in custody the next day. This prompt action was hailed by a number of women’s groups who are also demanding that the Indian government sign extradition treaties with other countries so that criminals like Ramesh Tiwari can be brought to justice quickly. Minister of Overseas Indian Affairs Vayalar Ravi promised the public that he would have treaties with most countries by the end of 2007. When asked by reporters if he was working towards extraditing Dawood Ibrahim from the Middle East, Mr. Ravi said, “Dawood is a secondary issue. I cannot standby and watch an Indian bahu being abused. For heaven’s sake she had to use a 128 thread count comforter and don’t you feel bad for the woman?”

Fortunately Ms. Nagpur did not have to wait for this treaty to be signed as Mr. Tiwari came to India upon hearing the news that his mother had been arrested. Ms. Gandthode accompanied the police who quickly made the arrest. The Indian media in one voice applauded the police and justice system for being prompt and fair. Ms. Arundathi Roy, a popular political activist, said, “This is great day for all the women of this great country but please keep in mind there are millions of Indian men living abroad. Let us hope that this animal called Ramesh Tiwari gets the death penalty so that it can serve as a lesson for others. 69 degrees is too cold.” According to legal pundits, Mr. Tiwari would most likely be given at least 8 years of imprisonment. Meanwhile protests against article 498A and the legality of the section silenced quickly as some of the protestors were booked under
498A.

Peace
PS: The law does exist and rules are as I mentioned above – well as far as my reading goes. Click on the title link to go to one of the 498A websites and follow the links for further reading.

Abu Ayyub plans to whip Iraqi al Qaeda into shape

Abu Ayyub al-Masri, the replacement for Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, has come out with radical reforms for Iraqi al Qaeda. Mr. al-Masri started off complaining about the lame picture the American government has used to identify him. He has already informed CIA that they can find his “Good Pictures” on www.hotornot.com under the pseudonym “Brown Chocolate”. Mr. al-Masri was also quite upset about the fact that the Smagh (The cloth around the head) made him look old-fashioned, hence he decided to replace it with either a baseball cap or a do-rag. He also has sent a message to the Jihadis in Iraq that he working very hard to come up with a logo that would shout al Qaeda without being garish or pedestrian.
Abu Ayyub was also concerned about the physical fitness of his followers. He said, “All we do now-a-days is suicide bombings. We are not even running a few miles a week. The other day Ahmed could not even fast walk when he encountered American forces. Well his situation is even worse now; he is in an American jail and has gained 35 pounds. What do you expect when you eat the American way. I’m hoping the Richard Simmons videos I ordered from overstock would do the magic.”



Mr. al-Masri is determined to solve the dry skin problems that many of his foreign fighters are encountering. He said that the bad dressing style coupled with lack of exercise and dry skin is killing their romantic prospects. He went to say, “People cannot wait that long for 72 virgins and I for one am stringently against animal abuse.” Mr. al-Masri is planning to establish a supply contract with Banana republic for skin softeners. He said, “I love peach and I’m praying to Allah that we can get peach/strawberry scented body lotions.” When asked about vision for al Qaeda, Abu Ayyub stated that he wanted to see his Jehadis as well groomed metro-sexuals – the kind that would make Jude Law jealous and kind of be a fashion trend-setting group for all Islamic terrorists.

Peace

India now offers reservations for Parliament seats!!!

In an unprecedented move the father of capitalist reforms in India, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh announced that he is planning to extend the reservation quota concept to the Upper and Lower houses of the Parliament. Mr. Singh substantiated his decision by stating, “What is good for the goose is good for the gander”. HRD Minister Arjun Singh criticized the decision saying that the concept of quotas in the parliament goes against the preamble of the Indian constitution, which states -
“WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a SOVEREIGN SOCIALIST SECULAR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC and to secure to all its citizens:
JUSTICE, social, economic and political;
LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;
EQUALITY of status and of opportunity;
and to promote among them all
FRATERNITY assuring the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the Nation”

This monumental decision was hailed by the general public (Ir-respective of caste) of India, who vouched to force their parliamentary representatives to vote for this bill. Some of the avid supporters of this bill, anticipating a strike from the Members of Parliament, have gotten a Supreme Court injunction order that will crush any sort of retaliatory move by the MP’s. There are a number of political pundits who believe that such an injunction order is not very useful, as the absence of politicians would lead to phenomenal decreases in corruption in the country. Mayawati Kumari, the firebrand politician of BSP, is most likely to be elected as the new Prime Minister of India. Ms. Kumari in a press conference today said, “I will try my best to maintain equality in the country and regain the trust of the people of this great country. I also assure all the upper caste people that they will not be discriminated against. As a matter of fact I will institute reservations for the all the upper caste people who now will be known as “Formerly upper caste people.” In spite of numerous protests by the likes of Laloo Prasad Yadav condemning this promise of reservations for “Formerly upper castes” as a political ploy to retain votes, Ms. Mayawati Kumari is expected to stick to her new reservation policies.

Peace