Saturday, July 01, 2006
Cheney’s Pacemaker working fine
Doctors at George Washington University Medical Center have given Vice President Dick Cheney a clean bill of health. There have been a few concerns about the Vice President’s pacemaker over the last few months. VP Cheney had been under a lot of pressure lately especially dealing with the catastrophe in New Orleans which required him to visit the area multiple times. The Vice President despite warnings from his doctors decided to visit this grief stricken area but was shaken when he encountered an unprecedented number of African Americans. Lea Anne McBride, Cheney’s spokesperson, said “Dick is a tough cookie but he was absolutely devastated by the reality of the situation. You know it is difficult for him to comprehend that America has so many black people; he has recovered well but it is still haunting him.” It is rumored that VP Cheney is planning to attend the NASCAR race at Daytona to get a higher dose of whiteness.
Dr. Ray Sevens, Chief Cardiologist at GMU Medical Center, speaking about VP Cheney’s pacemaker said “Dick is a unique case. His heart strangely is a quite colder than any I have seen before and hence we had to get a pacemaker that would accommodate the coldness. Luckily the Vice President does not work his heart a lot which is contributing to his recovery. We are hoping that he would work heartlessly in the future so that he can live a long and fruitful life.” Anticipating an attack by the democrats on the heartless policies of the Vice President, Karl Rove launched a pre-emptive defensive measure by floating rumors that Dick Cheney works with his heart and that is why he is shooting rich lawyers.
Peace
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